Another medication post...

So I think that it's best for me to not think about medication again until I actually get somewhere in therapy. I have come to the realization that I was looking for a "miracle drug" that would make me feel better without side effects or making me feel medicated. Such a thing does not exist, and until I feel more comfortable with myself, or with my problems, I don't think that medication will be very successful, as I don't think that it's very possible for me to take it and not resist it, right now. My recent bout with Wellbutrin has made me remember how much I hate the 'medicated' feeling, and so if I can get around all this shit without medication, that would be great. However, if I do need medication in the future, I at least need to wait until I'm comfortable enough with myself and my problems to actually give the medication a chance.