Just ignore me, it's better.

So I've been feeling lately like I'm being/have been a shitty girlfriend. Maybe it's Peter's actions/behaviors/etc that are making me feel that way, but I really don't feel that's the case.

I'm too clingy - I literally hang off of Peter like some velcro-covered stuffed animal.
I'm dumb, or I act dumb - I'm not sure if this is actually the case or not, but sometimes I really feel it is. I already have low enough self-esteem, but being around someone who is very intellectual like Peter really can make me feel like an idiot sometimes.
I never do anything - I sit in his room, on his bed, on my computer about 85% of the time I'm around him.
I'm immature - I am just recently realizing this.

I often feel like such an embarrassment to Peter that I really just want to leave the room when he has friends over. I feel like a stupid, shallow, defective girl that he has to apologize for. Hell, I wouldn't want to be around me, or have to deal with me around friends. I just feel like I want to curl into a ball and disappear so that no one will have to put up with me.

Sorry for the angsting, but I've felt like this for quite some time, but never said anything because I didn't want to sound exactly like the pathetically whiny bitch I actually am.



Oh, and I had a rather interesting revelation today in therapy about how there's a pretty decent chance that my parents are actually responsible for a good deal of my fucked-up-ness.

Nothing like knowing that people you love helped to make you someone you can't stand.